Chief Gunner 2 Posted September 25, 2007 Beware the Chief Petty Officer!! >The Chief doesn't sleep with a night light. The Chief isn't afraid of >the dark. The dark is afraid of the Chief. > >The Chief's tears can cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried. > >The Chief once visited The Virgin Islands. They are now called The >Islands. > >The Chief once counted to infinity . . . twice! > >The Chief frequently donates blood to the Red Cross, just never his own. > >Superman owns a pair of Chief pajamas. > >The Chief has never paid taxes. He just sends in a blank form and >includes a picture of himself. > >If the Chief is late, then time had damn well better slow down. > >The Chief has the greatest Poker Face ever. He once won the 1982 World >Series of Poker despite the fact that he held only a Joker, a 2 of >clubs, a 7 of spades, a Monopoly Get-Out-Of-Jail card, and a green >number 4 UNO card. > >The Chief once sold his soul to the devil in exchange for his rugged >good looks and unparalleled strength. He then beat up the devil and took >back his soul. The devil who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and >admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second >Wednesday of the month. > >When the Chief was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an >essay: "What is courage?" The Chief received an A+ for turning in a >blank page with only his name at the top. > >The Chief actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up >the courage to tell him. > >The Chief once ate three 72-oz steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 >minutes having sex with the waitress. > >The Chief clogs the toilet even when he pisses. > >The Chief refers to himself in the fourth person. > >The Chief can divide by zero. > >If the Chief ever calls your house, be in! The Chief doesn't leave >messages; he leaves warnings. > >The Chief is one-eighth Cherokee. This has nothing to do with his >ancestry. >The man once ate an Indian. > >If you come home and find the Chief in bed with your wife, it would be a >good idea to fetch a glass of water in case the Chief gets thirsty. >There is no future in any other course of action. > >The Chief can slam a revolving door. > >The Chief was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would >be faster to run. > >One time in an airport a guy accidentally called the Chief "buddy." He >explained it was an honest mistake and apologized profusely. The Chief >accepted his apology and politely shook hands. Nine months later the >guy's wife gave birth to a baby with a birthmark that looked like five >stripes and crossed rifles. The guy knew exactly what had happened, and >blames nobody but himself. > >When the Incredible Hulk gets angry, he transforms into the Chief. > >Jesus' Birthday isn't December 25th, but the Chief once sent him a >birthday card for that day and Jesus was too scared to tell him the >truth. That's why we celebrate Christmas in December. > >When the Chief exercises, the machine gets stronger. > >The Chief once played Jenga. The result was the Empire State Building. > >Bullets dodge the Chief. > >The Chief once took an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him >blink . . . once. > >The first lunar eclipse took place after the Chief challenged the sun to >a staring contest. The sun blinked first. > >The Chief never used a question mark in his entire life. He believes >that the interrogative tense is a sign of weakness. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bikeslut 1 Posted September 25, 2007 The boogey man and his wife scare the children with stories of The Chief Does the Chief know Chuck Norris. (no question mark on purpose) I could start some slut stories, but we know how they ALL end. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SCHWINN 0 Posted September 25, 2007 :cray: :cray: :cray: We were all laughing here so much we had tears in our eyes at the shop. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yeti 0 Posted September 26, 2007 The Chief doesn't do push-ups, the Earth moves away from the Chief. I had a Gunny who used the Chuck Norris lines too. :cray: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ride-Orange 2 Posted September 26, 2007 GOD is blessed by The Chief :cray: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kaw'ee 10 Posted September 27, 2007 . .......... Heres a girl going for a test ride so she'll know what its like to sleep with the Chief ........... . . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DigDug 0 Posted September 27, 2007 . .......... Heres a girl going for a test ride so she'll know what its like to sleep with the Chief ........... . . See, that's a great reason to join the Air Force!!! The inside scoop on that one is she's in an Air National Guard unit (notice the blue belt and the mandatory reflective belt - both telltale AF signs) and lost a stripe for that picture. That pic used to be on quite a few windows desktops in the desert too... Poor Girl... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
